Fill'er Up

I got gas for car rented while I am on temporary assignment.  It cost 30 bucks and was 10 gallons of gas.  Very friendly on the wallet.  The car is a Kia Forte.  It's a cheap little car and drives well enough.  It's not fast.  Isn't full of safety nannies.  Just basic transportation.  If I was in the market for a small car, I would give this consideration.  At the same time hesitant due to chronic engine problems with engines from Korea.   My son has a Hyundai sonata and it had the engine replaced under warranty because it suffered from rod knock.  Less than 90,000 miles.  You get what you pay for in almost all instances.

Compare the fill up to my primary car.  It holds 22 gallons of gasoline and requires premium fuel.  I think the most I spent to fill it up was something nearly 80 bucks.  Running on fumes and over 400 miles to the tank. I was shocked the day that happened and surprised I could go over 400 miles on a tank.

I keep reading the end of the fossil fuel era is coming.  I am sick of hearing about it.  

What bothers me is we seldom hear from scientists about how bad fossil fuels are.  We hear from politicians and environmental activists.  People with an agenda.

My agenda is to have cheap energy

The Stars and Stripes Forever

 One of the greatest marches of all time, written by John Phillip Sousa.  The march has a certain optimism and pride to it.  There are a few ways the march is performed.  My personal favorite is when any ensemble is playing the last string where the trumpets have the option of taking a note to a high c vs taking it at the octave written.  Every time they play that note as written it is just a let down.  The string wants to go the high C - it's got the momentum and taking it as written is always such a huge disappointment.  Go For It!

Another element of ornamentation I like is at the last two bars there is an option for the percussion section to play a "roll off."  I like that too.

The best performances apply both pieces of flair to the performance.  It caps off a wonderful march with two wonderful exclamation points - as it should be!

No subsidies for electric cars

 I work in a facility owned by the government.  They have parking garages.  In the short term parking garages they let people charge their electric cars for free.  All they have to do is find a space with a plug and plug in.  The executives where I work also charge their cars for free.  One the city dime.

Why is the city subsidizing electric car fuel and not fuel for internal combustion engines?  Why can't I top off my tank on the city's dime while I'm working like other people get to do?

Is it the city's way of incentiving green technology?  Is it throwing them a bone for doing good for the environment?  

If they're not subsidizing everyone's energy needs they should be subsidizing no one's energy needs.  I'm responsible for making sure my car has gas to get me where I need to go.  EV drivers should do the same. 

I think I'll bring it up at the next tenant meeting.

No more nanny car

 I got fed up driving the nanny laden Toyota corolla hybrid.  There's nothing like having a car argue with everything you do when you drive.  Maybe I'm a poor driver?  I dunno... who cares....

The interesting this is I went to the airport to do an exchange for a normal car.  With a gasoline engine.  A car that doesn't have all the safety devices on it.

I got to go to the premium line since I was doing an exchange and the line was out the door.  The car rental place had few cars that weren't electric or hybrid,  I got one of the last ones.  The lady helping me said I don't know why they're making electric cars.  Nobody wants to drive them.  Well no kidding.

I wonder how many people regret buying electric and go back to gas.  It's good for the environment.  Is it?  I don't think so.  I think the data is skewed.  They're just as bad for the environment, just in different ways.

IF you ask me, everyone who buys one for the environmental benefits is a sucker.Hoodwinked by the environmentalists and all the fear mongering they create.  It's what they do.

Anyway...  the new car isn't as fast and doesn't have LED lighting and doesn't have a hissy fit when I follow too close or don't use a turn signal.  The engine stays on all the time.  It shifts gears like a normal car.  I'm much happier during and after my commute now.  I'd rather drive this econobox that drives like a normal car.

I can't wait until I get back to driving my car.  There is something to be said for cars built in the early 2000s.  It was the pinnacle in automotive design and excellence before everything got to be so over regulated.

I'm from a different area.  And that's okay.  It's something to be celebrated.  Some may call me stupid but I'd rather be dumb and happy than being with it and miserable.

Plane of beauty

I've been in the aviation world for a long time.  Today as I was leaving work, I saw a giant engine out the door to the ramp.  Went to look at it and it was a British Airways A350.  It holds 325 people.  I wanted to take a picture of it but couldn't get far enough away from it to get a reasonable picture.  Everyone once in a while I see a plane that is just beautiful.  The 787 Dreamliner is one of them.  And the A350 is another.  I'm also partial to the Boeing 767, too.  It's a classic!

A350

Dreamliner

767 Delta

Open or Closed Book

10 years ago my wife was deathly ill.  She and my youngest had traveled to Florida. My youngest got sick and was in the hospital during the trip.  My wife was having breathing problems shortly after her return.  It was so bad we took her to the emergency room.  Her oxygen levels were all screwed up and she seemed stable.  After spending the day with her in the hospital I decided to leave to make sure the kids at least got dinner.  While we were eating I got a call that my wife's oxygen levels dropped significantly and they had intubated her and she was now in a medically induced coma.  I couldn't believe what transpired in such a short amount of time.

My wife ended up on life support for approximately two weeks.  While she was on life support is was determined that she originally had a respiratory infection that turned into pneumonia and then turned into a staph infection in her lungs.  The doctors were monitoring her condition through blood chemistry alone.  It was a very scary time.  

At one time there were were 8 different bags of medication and saline solution being pumped into her to try and saver her life.  While this was going on I was active on Facebook and was giving regular updates to family and friends as to my wife's condition and what the doctors were doing to improve her situation.  I would write about my thoughts, fears, hopes, trying to hold my family together.  Protecting my kids.  Staying strong.  Supporting my wife and trying to make it day by day.  The support I received from my Facebook network was overwhelming.  We had people praying all over the world for her.  I had strong support network.  My employer allowed me to care for my family while this was happening.  

Obviously my wife pulled out of it and she is healthy after years of respiratory problems caused by that illness.

About 45 days ago my brother in law was in a head on collision and had significant injuries and is still in ICU with a trache.  Getting updates from that side of the family is like pulling teeth and every update is carefully measured without divulging too much information or how bad a situation my BIL is in.  Apparently he's in pretty bad situation because he's continued being in ICU after 45 days.

What I find interesting is the difference in approaches between my sister and myself.  She keeps all her cards close to the vest and doesn't willingly share information.  When my wife was ill, I was an open book and my updates were heartfelt and emotionally raw.  My sister on the other hand is very guarded with what who she lets in and what she shares.

I don't know which way is right or better or anything else.  All I know is I appreciated the support I got by sharing what was going on.  I feel like my sister is fighting this battle alone because she won't let people in  or let people know how dire the situation is.  It's interesting in that we grew up the same but have chosen different ways of dealing with the fear and struggle of having a spouse with life threatening injuries or illness.  I wish she would open up and let those who care about her and her husband share the burden of dealing with the situation.  In some situations it takes a village.  A village that comes together to love, support and pray.  I wish she was able to be vulnerable in that way to ease her fears and struggles.  What makes me an open book and her a closed book?  I don't see anything positive that comes from being a closed book.  People want information.  They want to support.  They want to pray.  The want to help carry you through the struggle and the pain.  You can't go through this stuff alone...  well maybe you can.  But it sure is easier when the burden is shouldered by others instead of carrying it alone.

My youngest is turning into

 My youngest is turning into a young man.  Last week we shaved off his first growing of a mustache.  Today he helped mow the yard for the first time.  My wife was originally campaigning against me to not have him help mow the yard because he's too young.  He's 13.  I started mowing the yard when I was 8.  He got a 5 year reprieve from how life was when I was a kid.

As my wife and I debated the issue with him being too young - I told her it was my job to turn him from a boy into a man.  Part of being a man is learning how to do manual labor that no one else wants to do.  It's doing something because it has to be - even when no one wants to do it. My job is to teach him a work ethic and the satisfaction of a job well done.

As always, the first attempt is pretty rough.  Figuring out how to control the mower, how to look at the grass and position the lawn mower properly and how to operate and control the tool.  He did good considering he's never done it before.

We ran out of gas between the front and back yard.  I took him and the gas can to the gas station.  There's a way to get to the gas station without going on the main road.  You can drive behind a strip center even though they tell you not to.  If the strip center has a road behind it that does to the gas station, does that mean the tenants and customers can't drive through either?  

On the way back I asked my boy if he wanted to drive.  He looked at me and said NO.  I was like why not?  Because I"m too young.  It's illegal.  I'm like dude - it's a parking lot.  You can drive on private property and I'll be here with you to make sure you don't hit anything.  He still wouldn't do it after about 5 minutes of trying to convince him......

Then we're on the way home and about to turn on to our street.  I ask if he wants to drive again.  He says no.  Then he goes - but I'll steer from here.  OK.  If we're going to do this in baby steps I'm not missing any of them.  So he steered the car from the passenger seat and had a fine time doing that.

I remember when I was a kid I didn't have a chance about mowing the yard and my Dad would let us kids drive the car sitting in his lap on birthdays.  We didn't drive in a parking lot.  We did it on the neighborhood streets.  He controlled the pedals and we steered.  I told my youngest about it and he goes Poppy did that?  Believe or not, he was cool like that.  Oh the memories.

It's the economy stupid

 How on Earth can Joe Biden claim Bidenomics is good for America?  How can he claim inflation isn't out of control.  How can he claim anyones financial situation has improved under his leadership?  How can he claim anything is better under his leadership as of late?  Two wars have been started under his watch.  Russia vs. Ukraine and Hamas/Palestine vs Israel.  TWO. 

We went to the grocery yesterday.  We bought two bags of goods and the cost was 90 dollar.  There was some laundry detergent, some cosmetics for my wife, and a few snacks.  90 dollars and none of this stuff had a battery or electronic component.  WTH?  Some make up, laundry detergent and a salad.  The makeup wasn't designer makeup.  It was grocery store make up.  

I think Joe is happy with oil being expensive because he waged war against fossil fuels the day he took office when he cancelled the keystone pipeline.  He's drained the strategic petroleum reserve.  He's not had any land lease auctions to allow for further petroleum exploration.  A green new deal isn't a good deal for America.  

When fossil fuels are expensive, everything else is more expensive too - include electricity and all consumer goods.  If it moves via land, see or air, the increase in transport cost is passed along to the consumer.  That means the people who can least afford things to get more expensive are the one's who sacrifice the most.  

A significant number of people are living paycheck to paycheck in this country.  All because of Joe Biden.

His policies are an absolute disaster.  He's a putz.

Toyota Corolla Hybrid

 Toyota Corolla Hybrid...  All I have to say is I have never driven a more ornery car in my entire life.  It's like riding a stubborn mule.  If you change lanes without using a turn signal, the wheel fights against the will of the operator.  If the car deems you are following the car in front of you too close, it automatically applies the brakes.  It's got a CVT transmission.  It doesn't shift gears - the engine revs and it feels like a rubber band. I don't like driving a car that thinks it knows more than the driver.  If I want to change lanes without signaling that's my business.  If I am at a comfortable distance to the car in front of me that's my business.  

Also because it's a hybrid, when it is traveling less than 20-25 miles per hour, it makes this hideous sound - like a cross between a whirl, a hum and a whine.  Then it turns off when you speed up.  

The engine starts and stops randomly.  The car doesn't even drive like a regular car.  I hate it.

If this is the future, I will continue buying cars made 15-20 years ago.  Driving used to be relaxing.  With this nanny laden piece of garbage, driving is stressful.  The car does what it wants to do.  Not what I want it to do.  Herding cats is easier than driving this thing.  

If they want to reduce fossil fuel use and carbon foot prints start making more cars like this.  Who wants to drive a car that does nothing but argue with the operator.  I think I'm going to request a swap because this car is trash. It’s not Toyota’s job to regulate my driving or make me a more courteous or safe driver. Once again it is an example of corporate and government over reach through regulation of behavior. What ever happened to freedom?

The Great Pumpkin

 Pumpkin is a most unusual fruit available on planet Earth. The months of October and November are prime for pumpkin consumption. There are many pumpkin flavored culinary delights that sprout up at the start of fall. Pumpkin flavored drinks, cookies and pies. Candles emitting pumpkin spiced aroma.  

Pumpkins are also used for decorations at Halloween and the Thanksgiving tradition. The carving of pumpkins started in Europe to ward off evil spirits in the form of the traditional jack o’lanterns. One would cut an opening in the top of the pumpkin and scoop all the guts out. Then they’d carve a face and put in a candle to illuminate the face in the dark. 

Pumpkin carving has always been rather crude as carving with precision on a hollowed out piece of fruit isn’t easy.  Around the turn of the millennium  pumpkin carving really came into its own art form. Suddenly companies were making an assortment of tools to aid in the precise application of one’s creative vision for the art of pumpkin carving. 

Then, the biggest evolution came about when someone started using rotary tools such as Dremels to take pumpkin carving to the next level and truly elevate it as an art form. Suddenly precise cuts and detail work as possible. One could create shading affects because you didn’t have to cut through the pumpkin. You could thin out sections allowing light to pass through without there being a hole. And before you knew it pumpkins became works of art. 

When I was a kit teenagers would snatch pumpkins from door steps and smash them in the street.  Always found this to be amusing although I’ve never participated.  But you’d go driving through neighborhoods and many smashed pumpkin remnants would be smashed and scattered all over the streets. 

If it wasn’t for the months October and November would there be any need for pumpkins or pumpkin farmers?  I doubt it. But it’s kinda like Christmas. What would tree farmers do with all their trees if it wasn’t for Christmas?  Same with the pumpkin. 

Major hail storm

 We had a major hail storm...  Hail the size of baseballs.  It sounded like bowling balls being dropped on the roof.  Roofs, windows and solar panels destroyed.  Cars totaled due to dents, windshields and sunroofs shattered.  A lot of damage was done.  Total carnage.  Probably a once in 30 year storm. I can remember the last one like this - it was in the early to mid 90's.  Right on schedule this time around.  Climate change.  Whatever.  This has happened before and it will happen again.

After the storm, it's always interesting to see the roof robbers hitting the neighborhoods for complimentary inspections as they look to hustle some business.  There must be 20 different roofing company signs in the neighborhood.  Flyers galore.  It's always interesting to see which roofing company's get the most business.  Some reduce deductibles for yard sign placement.  Other companies entice with free shingle upgrades.  It's considered insurance fraud by the law in the state.  But they do it anyway.

Don't understand why anyone would do business with a storm chaser - not based locally.  Good price?  I've heard horror stories of the craftsmanship with these fly by night companies.  

The sad thing is this will be the second roof in a year for us.  I bet we either get dropped by our insurance company or the rates sky rocket.  Such is life.

Eating Chinese

Chinese dining is fun.  I know people who get a strange enjoyment and satisfaction from eating their meal with traditional chopsticks.  Me and my unrefined self like to eat western style with a fork, spoon and knife.  I always enjoy the Kung Pao chicken.  Wonton or egg drop soup.  Fried rice is a personal favorite.  Beef fried rice is an entire all by itself sometimes.  The best part of a Chinese meal is the fortune cookie.

There is a certain amount of delight and wisdom to the fortune cookie.  If dining with multiple people, one is supposed to pick the fortune cookie nearest to them.  Like somehow a cookie is pre-determined to go to someone and what appears as random to the untrained is actually some kind of Chinese spirit voodoo is choosing the cookie for the individual.  Then the fun begins as each person reads their fortune message.  It's a fun way to end a meal as everyone reads the wisdom contained on "their" fortune.  

Some people leave their fortune on the table.  Other people are known to keep their message after the meal as a gentle reminder or wish of something to happen. or a bit of wisdom that somehow foretells the future.  

Recently visited the Panda Express...  my fortune said "You have the ability to overcome obstacles on the way to success."  And here I find myself at a crossroads in my career.  Strangely fitting.  Strangely appropriate.  Strangely coincidental.  

I'll play along with the spiritual voodoo.  I choose to think this message was destined for me.  What's the worse that could happen?  Nothing.  It's kinda fun to think there is some kind of divine intervention in the path I'm on to reinforce ideas or principles as I move forward.   

Irony

 I live in a house with three people.  Me, another tenant and the homeowner.  When I initially moved in the owner and I were on the same trajectory.  We both had jobs keeping us away from our homes for a year and a half.  Life was good.  Two of us living in a parade of homes style house with everything coordinated in a way that only an interior designer could assemble.  A lot of whites, grey and blacks with brushed nickel ornamentations in the cabinet pulls and door knobs.  Custom made furniture that is more form over function.  It's terribly uncomfortable; however, lovely to look at.

The owner's remote job terminated due to the company she worked for hitting unsurmountable financial headwinds.  Suddenly, with three full time residents the household is generating exponentially more trash.  By all accounts, two dudes don't generate much garbage.  Add a woman to the mix who likes to cook and the garbage can and recycling bin is full every week.  We don't buy trash bags.  We re-use single use trash bags garnered from most retail outlets.  We used to have a drawer full of them.  We're running out. Why is that?

Because when shopping, the one generating the most waste uses bags intended for long term use to keep people from cutting down trees in the plastic forest.  Those canvas corporately logo'd tradeshow swag bags.  We're generating more trash without having more bags added to inventory to get rid of the trash.  I guess the other other housemate (Joe) and I will have to start double bagging our goods so we don't run out of single-use reusable garbage bags.  Ironic.

The modern grocery store

When was the last time you were in a modern grocery store? It's been about a year for me.  I typically shop in lousy Walmart neighborhood markets.  They're kinda small and have just about everything one needs to sustain themselves.

Back home I went to HEB and was just blown away by the number of choices for things like mustard, barbecue sauce and salsa.  There must have been 100 different choices of all of the above.  Like, WTH?  How many choices are too many choices?  Are they catering to the foodie segment of the population?  The one that needs mango banana peach green salsa...  that sounds more like a smoothie recipe. 

What I see is a gluttony of choice.  Pretty much epitomizing the fall of America.  Who needs 100 different choices of anything?

I've always appreciated simplicity.  The older I get the more simpler I want to keep my life.  I drive a 19 year old car.  It's simple.  It works.  One has to be engaged to operate it.  I drive it.  It doesn't drive me.  

I don't use Microsoft teams at work.  I hate it.  If you want to talk to me, pick up the phone and call me.  I don't want to respond to some group chat.  I don't want to be chained to my desk to communicate with people.  I don't want my nose in my phone at work to respond to messages.  It's like teams was made for millenials and gen z folk.  Those that grew up multitasking and incapable of having a face to face discussion without typing away on a keyboard...  Hello - business and work is about relationships.  It's not about texting and messaging.  Grow up younglings.

I have an iPhone but think that is a mistake.  On my phone I don't have very many apps.  Why does everyone need an app?  Are they making it easier for the user?  How much other data is being mined through the app.  Where I go.  Who I talk to.  What I buy.  What websites I visit, etc.  MOD pizza isn't giving me a discount through their app when I visit 10 times.  They giving me a discount because they have access to everything I'm doing between visits.  That's where the value is in giving me a little incentive to come back.  Guess what?  If I like your product I'll come back anyway.  I don't need some patronizing discount.  Like seriously.

Deployment

If all goes well, as one progresses in their career they become a corporate asset.  Once corporate asset status is achieved corporations can deploy the asset wherever it is needed.  Think of it as being a special agent.  In my career I have been fortunate to be selected for a good number of special assignments because leaders throughout my department see value in the work I do.  A true testament and reinforcement to the work I do.  I'm just a guy who shows up, does the job asked to the best of my ability.  I make the best decision with the available information.  Execute to meet performance objectives.  Create an environment where those on my team buy in to what we're about and bring out the best in each of them.  It's a lot like parenting.

Currently have a job I love with a team I love in a  place I love with a boss I love.  An opportunity presents itself for promotion to return to the station I opened.  The field of candidates will be competitive.  Deciding to go back for a step up is a complicated decision.  Somewhere I learned to make a decision and make it good.  Many things to consider.  Fortunate to have the opportunity to test drive the position for a few weeks. I believe test driving will lead to clarity.

Just one thing

There are many things I'd like to say to the president on a wide variety of topics.  But if I could say one thing and one thing only, here's what it is - Take your electric car and shove it up your ass.  It sums up so many aspects of his administration that I cannot tolerate.  His war on fossil fuels.  His push for a green economy.  His governance through regulation and mandate.  His interference in free markets.  The fact that is decisions are shortsighted and have unintended consequences - or maybe they are intended consequences.  I don't know.  But seriously, Joe -  take your electric car and shove it up your ass.  That old coot shouldn't be allowed to eat ice cream and is not worthy of driving, owning or thinking about a corvette.  

There comes a time

 There comes a time in life where one asks the tough questions.  What am I doing?  How do I improve and secure my family's future?  What am I capable of?  Am I living up to my potential?  Do I thirst for something more?  Is what I am now good enough?  Is good enough the enemy of achieving greatness?  How do I level up and move forward?  How does one navigate these questions while in a committed relationship.  How do you reconcile and move forward?  I don't know.

I stand before you today as someone who has experienced peaks and valleys in my career.  I've been on the fast track climbing the ladder.  I've had thoughts of jumping off the ladder.  Taking my toys and going elsewhere.  Contemplated ending everything due to being clinically depressed with no fulfillment.  No direction.  No drive.  Stuck on a treadmill running to nowhere.  Living life nothing more than a drab shade of grey, searching for happiness and professional fulfillment.  Depression isn't just an illness of the mind.  It is an injury to the soul.  An injury to the body.

In order for things to change, first I must change.  I don't know how many hours I spent looking at my self in the mirror.  Staring into my soul.  Digging deep.  Mustering up the courage to make changes.  Give up what is known for what is unknown.  Taking risk.  Shaking things up.  Giving up comfort, safety and familiarity to discover myself.  A mulligan in life.  A "do-over."

What did I do?  I applied for a lateral transfer with my employer.  I sought out an environment I thought would be beneficial to me.  Reporting to a boss that offices in another station about an hour away with too much on her plate to worry about what I'm doing. Instead of remote work, I wanted a remote boss.  Someone who would give me a long leash.  I went were I could do things my way and let the results speak for themselves.  I facilitated change.  I created a cultural shift.  I improved performance.  I found purpose.  I met challenges.  I inspired people around me.  I created excellence.  

I wanted my boss to visit my station because she wanted to; not because she had to.  I wanted her to know my purpose was to take things off her plate and make her look good.  I wanted freedom.  I wanted autonomy.  I wanted to build a team.  I wanted to lead in a way I thought would be effective.  How did I do it?  In the words of Frank Sinatra, "I did it my way."

What did I learn?  I am good at what I do.  I should be having done it for 16 years. I realized I love a good challenge.  I like tinkering with the station and seeing what works and what doesn't.  I like being empowered.  Encouraged.  Tested.  I learned I am capable of greatness.  Maybe not on a grand scale or in the upper echelons of anything that matters in the grand scheme of things.  I learned I have 12-15 good working years left.  I want to be challenged.  I want to improve things.  I want to build teams.  I forgot I was good at it because I couldn't find my footing.  I was held back.  I couldn't break free.  Somehow...  I did.  I don't know what happened.  Or how it happened.  Thankful it did happen.

All I can say is I am again at the top of my game doing my best work.  Understanding I am no longer a Padawan.  Realizing I am a Jedi Knight.  I don't want to coast or idle down the road.  I want to fly.  

I always thought one of the neatest things about being a leader was leaving my imprint on a station.  I opened a station and worked it for two seasons.  I was an acting GM for a year.  I ran my current station for year.  I left my imprint on all those stations during my time there.  And my challenge to myself is to leave an imprint that stands the test of time.  Now that I've been in and out of few stations what I've done is written a book.  Some chapters are filled with ups.  Some with downs.  But it's my story and I'm really curious and excited to see how the next chapter unfolds.

I was talking to one of my colleagues.  I don't think we're meant to do the same thing for years on end in the same place.  We're meant to grow and develop.  Try new things.  To grow.  Complete one challenge and move on to the next.  Prepare someone else to do the job I've done so when I leave there's opportunity for someone else who will also grow and learn.  And the process repeats itself.  Leave the people and places in our lives better than the way we found them.

It's been a rough couple years.  I'm glad I didn't give up on the company.  I'm glad the company didn't give up on me.

Can I hear a good Amen?!?!  Peace. Out.

Popeye

 Facial symmetry...  most people's faces are completely symmetrical when they're children.  As the grow, symmetry sometimes goes haywire.  In the mirror I've noticed my jaw lines aren't symmetrical.  It bothers me, to some degree.  Not enough to do anything about it - but I notice both sides of my face are not the same.  My check bones are different too.  One of my eyes is bigger than the other or more pronounced on one side compared to the other.

For people with non-symmetrical faces, the discrepancies from side to side increase with age.  Especially in the eyes.  One eye looks total different than the other eye.  Like they got one eye from their mom and the other eye from their dad.  Or one eye droops more than the other. Wonky Weird.

Ready for take off

 I don't know if I'll continue to have the time to write with the same fervor and discipline as I've had since relaunching Unsocial Media.  We'll see how it goes.  If I am absent or my quality/quantity of work decreases, know there are many obligations competing for my time and attention.  

Feel the Music See the Music

 Hello.  My name is bob and I am a synesthete.  That means I suffer from a condition known as synesthesia.  According to wikipedia "Synesthesia is a perceptual phenomenon in which stimulation of one sensory or cognitive pathway leads to involuntary experiences in a secondary sensory or cognitive pathway."  What on Earth does that mean? 

It means some of my senses are crosswired.  Specifically, I hear instrumental music kinesthetically and visually.  I don't hear music as  just a series of sounds.  Yes, my ears hear the sounds of the instruments and how they're combined to create different effects in timbre and texture.  Yes.  I hear music texturally. Or, with physicality.  I feel the music.  As in light, dark, soft, hard, pointed, hot, icy, heavy, relaxed, tense, thick, thin, open, closed, etc.  Sometimes I hear staccatos as jabs.  Glissandos as a rip.  I feel the conflict and tension in dissonant chord structures.  Sometimes music feels heavy.  Sometimes it's light and I see colors or haziness or clouds or brightness depending on what I hear.    

Like some people with ADD or Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, I view my condition not as a defect but a gift.  I don't know how it happened and I didn't even know I was different than other people.  I thought everyone heard music the same way I do but they don't.  There have been many times I've been listening to music with a someone and I blurt out did you feel that?  They just look at me with a bewildered look on their face.  It's cool.

When I'm writing, I don't write what I think.  I write what I hear as the thoughts flow from my stream of consciousness.  That's why you'll sometimes see words spelled wrong that sound write - (right) if you read them out loud.  Literally - that just happened.

As Doug DeMuro would say, this is one of my quirks and features.  After learning what synesthesia is, I find it quite fascinating.  Not fascinating in a way desiring research but in a way that enhances my life experience and how I interact with the world around me.  It's my little secret.  Don't tell anyone.  Thank you.

It's been a month

 My first post upon relaunching The Crooked Toad - Unsocial Media was officially a month ago today.  Not sure if anyone reads what I write, but that's cool.  I write for myself to espouse my own opinions and the things I think about or that bother me.  Or the things with which I struggle.  

I usually write about a week and half out.  Sometimes posts have to be reordered if there's something I want to post closer to real time.  Reording is tricky...  I usually just pick the day and change to the last to post and insert a new post where the old one was.  That means my posts aren't necessarily timely.

It's also been a month and 10 days since I closed my Facebook account.  No regrets.  

Earlier today I looked through ALL the pictures on my phone.  Lots of documentation of challenges, vacations, special events, silliness, food, my family.  The biggest change I see is in my kids as they've changed and grown up.  It's weird to think my youngest will be graduating from high school in 5 years.  By that time I will be 58 years old.  Where will the time have gone?  Like WTH?  Where has the time gone?  In December it will be 18 years in aviation.

Random.

Lurch is in the House, er Senate

 John Fetterman is a pot smoking, porn addicted, brain damaged slob.  I wonder if there is a segment of the population in Pennsylvania who is proud to have him represent their state.  Probably, there is.  I don't know if that is a reflection of Lurch's ability to persuade people of his representational and legislative prowess or a reflection of the electorate in the Keystone State.  But whatever.

Fetterman has always dressed like a maladjusted, video game addicted psychopath spending way too much time in his parent's basement alone and in the dark.  Gym shorts, hoodie and sneakers.  A rogue Mark Zuckerberg; at least he wears pants.  

So he tragically had a stroke and is unable to understand bits and pieces of the English language.  He reads most conversations through some kind of tele prompting device.  His proficiency in speaking English is clumsy at best.  

Apparently Lurch managed to get the senate chamber dress code changed to enable him to continue dressing like a slob.  Is the suit causing some kind of sensory overload?  Is he autistic?  Does he need  noise cancelling headphones too?  

The senate has always had a dress code that represented the decorum and sanctity of institution to which they serve and the populace they represent.  But Lurch doesn't want to comply and wasn't permitted to enter the chamber and would vote by shouting from a doorway.  What gets me is Chuck Schumer (another piece of work) agreed and said members of the senate could wear whatever they want.  With one exception - everyone else who enters the chamber for any reason must maintain the tried and true dress code.  Typical.  A rule for thee but not for me.

Lurch now says he will wear a suit to avoid a government shutdown.  Really?  All I have to say is how does this idiot think he was so much power?  In some circles, he does.  Weird.

And then there was a photo of Zelensky wearing his war torn soldier attire when he visited.  I guess the rules of business attire don't apply to him because he's some kind of war hero.  Actually, before he was a Ukrainian mob boss and celebrity he was a standup comedian and has since elevated himself to global panhandler.  Brother can you spare a time?  Here. Have a couple hundred billion instead.  Thanks Uncle Joe - you owe me one.

If I was a senator in these difficult times, I would insist on wearing a curly rainbow wig, a clown nose and oversized clown shoes.  I'd fit right in.

That's all for now.  Have a wonderful day.  Thanks for reading.  

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Blech

Diversity, Equity and Inclusion is really nothing more than good old fashioned racism under the guise of equity.

In life equal input does not yield equitable output.

America's number one export is mental illness.

Behind the public facade, Democrats and Republicans are on the same team.

Executive pay is out of control... they've mastered the exploitation of labor.

The American Dream is dead.

Surgery between the legs won't fix a problem between the ears.

Elon Musk is the richest man in the world yet he receives more corporate welfare than anyone.

Economic prosperity is not possible without fossil fuels.

News is propaganda.

Looking forward to the weather cooling off

 I'm looking forward to the weather cooling off - when the temperature is in the 80s instead of the 90s.  Why?  So I can go back to walking on the beach.  There's something most relaxing about walking on the beach when the breeze is cooler than the temperature with the waves gently rolling up onto the beach.  The rhythm is so relaxing.  It's almost like a meditation.  Especially barefoot... feeling the grains of sand on your feet and the water splashing up against your legs.  Ahhhh.  Paradise found. 

Hopefully it will cool off soon.