Terrible

I am a terrible person with a deformed heart and dark soul. What stops me from being a gracious, thankful and kind soul? I am deformed. Judgmental. Hostile. I am exhausted. Living in a world I no longer understand and no longer want to be part of it. How did we get here? Globalism. Airplanes. Boats. They brought this cultural cesspool to the west. And turned everywhere and every thing into a garbage pile. Enshittification of everything.

Cross culturalism is disgusting. It’s exhausting and I’m sick of it. I’ve had my fill of freaks, other races and ethnicities. There’s nothing great about diversity.  It is mentally exhausting.   Diversity is our greatest strength is a tagline written by snowflakes and liberals.  Diversity sucks.  Anything goes.  Thanks. But no. Thanks. 

First in a longtime

For the first time in over a year I am laying in bed and I have no pain in my back, left hip or thigh. Like none. This is a momentous occasion as I was in the hospital last year with severe pain thinking my appendix needed to be removed or I had a kidney stone or something. And the pain never left. Until tonight.

Im thankful to laying in bed pain free. Amazed, actually. I figure it was just Father Time creeping in.

I guess he decided to go knock on someone else's door tonight.

Thankful also that I'm getting my life back together. As stated last week, I'm taking back my life starting with my health.

And a little piece of trivia from the life of KB - this year I've eaten more than 20 pounds of apples. I got my haircut back to the tried and true image. The shortest it's been since my mom's rapid decline and death.

It's nice to see progress in such a short period of time of making the decision to get back to my roots and go back to what works and who I am.

H1b

Visa fraud. They're importing terrorists under the guise of economic prosperity and world class talent. Perhaps for some but a majority are fraudulent; importing muslim terrorists, freeloaders and radicals.  With the intention of taking over America from the inside.  They are the true terrorists within our borders. They’re all frauds.  

Immigration without assimilation is invasion. 

Familiy dysfunction

 Every family dysfunction has boiled over since my dad elected to move to skilled nursing.  And what I'm learning is he's the problem.  Communication has been strained with him and the care team.  He is behaving inappropriately.  He tries to be in control of things when he is incapable.  And he gets irritated when people lose patience with him.

For example - he's having surgery next week.  The care team had questions about post op care.  He attempts to get information from a doctors office and then he attempts to send it to everyone else.  He sends a half written message to everyone at 0900.  I call him at 1100 and ask him if the rest of the message is coming.  He says he sent it.  I didn't receive anything.  I then ask if he can just tell me the information.  He says 'no - hold your horses.'  And 45 minutes later he sends a partial message with no information.  

A member of his care team calls me out of frustration and lack of communication.  They asked him to share the information and he said no.  Like WTH?  How is anyone supposed to help him when he is gatekeeping all the information and refuses to communicate.  Or tries to communicate and cant?  He has to do it his way.  Regardless of how inefficient it is.  No one has time to way nearly 3 hours for communication started at 0900.  And once again, that leaves me to pick up the pieces and smooth over his dysfunction with the people that are trying to take care of him.

It's like he thinks he has something to prove....  that he's not a decrepit old man and he's "still got it" with how the tries to present himself.  All he's doing is looking more incompetent with every delayed or half baked message.  Then when he gets irritable with people trying to help him, he's making it worse.  Now he's looking stubborn and pig headed.  Especially when he's holding things up trying to make himself look like he's still capable.  While he is capable, he never learned that sometimes you just have to check the box and get it done.  It doesn't have to be perfect.  It needs to be completed in a timely manner.  Perfection is overrated.

He's the hub of information.  He controls when, who gets and what information is distributed.  To people who are trying to help him that need information to plan.  Unbelievable.  So now it's figuring out how to work around him for his own good.  

Why do elderly people have to be so darn stubborn!?!?  To be independent?  To make it look like they are in control of their life?  To prove they're capable?  I get it.  The thing is the world doesn't move at the speed of an elderly person.  It moves at it's speed while he's moving in slow motion.  The rest of us are living in the real world trying to get things done.  Not only in our lives, but in his too.  Step aside and let us help you before you alienate everyone trying to help.  Elderly people are like old cars.  They're tired, worn and persnickety.  It takes a special driver to tend to their needs.  

Government incompetence

Proof elected officials are self serving. They have allowed tsa employees to work without pay for more than 40 days while those responsible for running the country continue demonstrating their gross dysfunction, wild incompetence and irresponsible self entitlement. The ruling class always prioritizes themselves, illegal aliens or countries before the citizens of this country. Nothing will ever change. Burn our government institutions to the ground.

The crazy in me

The crazy in me doesn't believe there can possibly be this much disruption in the food supply with repeated recalls of beef possibly containing particles of metal and other agriculture and dairy products contaminated with listeria.

Is this a breakdown in production, employees not following protocol or a concerted effort by the certain ideologies in society to discourage the eating of food derived from animal sources? 

Fecal matter contaminating both animal and vegetable foods?  Production, safety, preparation and inspection procedures compromised or not being followed?  Bypassed?  Breakdowns in training and compliance?  Compromised integrity?  Too much demand?   

It seems suspect that in the last decade or so there have been more food recalls than the entire 50 previous years. I dont think it's a coincidence or an accident.

Perhaps the food supply is being stressed? Idk.

Something ain't right.

The last year

 I'm not quite sure how to classify the last 12 months or the last 7 months.  In that amount of time my mom died.  I left a career I knew for nearly 20 years and I've been kinda stuck.  Stuck in not knowing what to do or what to think or how to move my life forward; making the last year one of the worst in my 55 year existence on this planet.

In addition to dealing with the loss of my mom and my career, I am also dealing with the decline of my father and navigating the final chapters in his life.  I am also dealing with the loss of another career.

In the last year I have gained 30 lbs.  Stress.  Laziness.  Uncertainty.  Lack of control.  Lack of direction.  Unsure how to proceed.

I took a mismatched job in January out of desperation.  As of yesterday, I quit my job after deciding I am better than this class of losers.  It all started with uncivilized customers, a complete lack of integrity by my manager and the final two nails in the coffin was some asshole screaming at me over mishearing his year/make/model on the phone and another uncivilized asshole throwing an alternator down on the counter and angrily grunting "WARRANTY."  No more.  I am done with this chapter. These people are better fit living in cages rather than being dysfunctional members of society.  They are angry.  They are uncivilized.  They are losers. 

Who you spend time with determines who you will become.  Now to seek out quality relationships and quality organizations to become part of.   

Now on to chart the next chapter.

First step - taking control of my health and wellness.  I've decided to explore floor/chair exercises and kettle bell exercises.  Carving out hours in my week to walk, ride or attempting the gym isn't realistic at this stage in life.  I want to exercise efficiently and build strength.  All the research I've done has pointed me to the kettle bell and floor exercises for efficiency, ability to build real world strength and do it in a reasonable amount of time per day.  So...  off we go and image rehabilitation starts today.

Next step - becoming more intentional in my job search.  A friend pointed out my strategy for 2025 has to change for 2026.  Now it's time to put myself out there and start turning over rocks I have been reluctant to do.  More in person interactions and honing my "elevator pitch."  Efficiently describing myself and what I want to be part of. 

 

 

 

Delightful

In the late 70s we went to Fredericksburg to get some of the famous hill country peaches. I don't know if they still have them or if they've gone snooty turning it to wine country instead of peach country.

Anyway, he used to eat peaches and cream ice cream. I think we made it once or twice. And my dad always talked about Joe Paterno's peach icecream made at the creamery at penn state university.

Apparently Penn State is famous for ice cream. Who knew?!?

At the store I saw HEB creamy creations Peaces and Cream ice cream. I bought it a week or two ago out of a yearning for nostalgia for some reason. I didn't have any until tonight…

Let me tell you - it is delicious! A stunning flavor that is a true delight to the taste buds. Decadent and creamy with that oh so good peaches and cream flavor reminding me of a time so very long ago. Spectacular flavor and highly recommended!

Truth

Immigrants

They don't make this country great. They may have at one time but don't any more. They contribute to the Enshittification of America.  They are not capable of integrating with or living in a civilized society.  

Brilliant

Trump's an asshole. And the way he handle this with the prime minister of japan was epic!  One for the ages. 

Maher was amused by Trump's Pearl Harbor joke to Japanese leader, says 'if Shane Gillis said it, you'd laugh' foxnews.com

Resentful

The more weekends and closing shifts I work, the more resentful I get. Im even more disgusted when I do both at the same time.

Enshittification - The gradual decline of a platform leading to diminished user experience and the maximum extraction of profit.  

Let’s talk about the Enshittification of a country like America.  Caused by importing illegal aliens unable to communicate in English language working at a reduced wage in an entry level position. 

This part of the country is full of a bunch of Mexicans that are either too lazy or too stupid to speak English. 

America has turned into a shit hole of entitled Mexicans who expect us to learn how to speak their goddam language. Fuck off. 

Too EZ

It is way to easy for me to have a strong dislike for non-English speaking people in our country.

Toys

I've been giving strong consideration to selling my splurge toy - my Pioneer SX-1010 and paradigm tower speakers…. Similiar to the corvette, happy I got to experience both while I was still young enough to enjoy them.

And tonight I came home to an empty house and I played John Williams Summon the Heroes cd. Mesmerized and completely captivated by the details revealed in the performance and the recording. Being able to hear every instrument and the virtuosity of the players gives me the feels. Such a delight to sit back and be awed by the performance.

Although tempting to convert toys to cash, I'm not quite ready to give up the magic.

Life truth

Work is a four letter word. Most profound statement ever told. Does it have to be this way? Or am I perpetually unhappy doing menial tasks with minimal compensation?

I've been employed for 40 years minus a short stint leaving career. Obligations between family and employer are often in conflict with one another.

Do we work to live or live to work? As of late it feels like I live to work. I find it difficult to embrace company objectives as my own.

Misplaced or misguided? Alignment? What are you talking about?!?

Banana man

Jesse Cole managed to turn the most boring game next to golf into an overstimulating nonstop mashup of music, baseball and line dancing.

Every once in a while

I hear a piece of music that's been around forever and it amazes me that I've never heard it before. Maybe a popular movement, but not the entire work. Just dumbfounded as to how this has been in existence and bam! I hear it for the first time and completely enchanted by the rhythms, colors, textures and tonality. The variety of textures and moods.

A rare treat at this age to discover something that captivates my attention to enjoy and delight in the wonder of something so wonderfully lush. Interesting. Emotional. Passionate.

Smetana's Ma Vlast "My Life"

Where have you been all my life?!?! The universe saved this for me at just the right time when I was primed to take a bite and savor the flavors with my ears.

Now to find full brass being exploited in the most bold and beautiful way possible.

Fetterman

Who would have ever thought that the laughing stock of 2020, John Fetterman, would become a voice of reason and integrity in the corrosive political landscape in America?

How did that happen? Will the same thing happen to zooran in 5 years?

Founding fathers

Just imagine if the founding fathers of America saw what America has turned into. What would they have done differently if they could see what's become of their grand experiment?

Consitition

If the founding fathers saw America today, what would they think if their plans.

Grant Dean

 15 years ago we met a realtor named Grant Dean.  We worked with him on the acquisition of our current home.  He used to work at a Keller Williams franchise and decided to go it alone and started his own real estate company.  Since we've moved into our house, he's been sending us hand-written greeting cards every quarter since we purchased our home.  We've received 60 cards and or letters from him since we started working with him.  

My wife says when we sell our house, we will work with him because he wants our business and has kept in touch with us since we worked with him on this house.  

I'm not so sure about that.  While it's nice to be remembered, my question is how many people does he do this for?  That's 60 mailed cards he's sent to just us.  Why does he have so much time on his hands?  If he has time to initiate "warm" client contact over 15 years, who is selling and marketing real estate?  

Seems suspect and unusual if you ask me.

Al Gore

It's really interesting to see the rage in Al gore whenever he talks about Donald Trump and the environment. I kinda enjoy seeing what trump derangement syndrome does to otherwise normal and high functioning people. It's like their brain completely short circuits and melts down. Like at a nuclear reactor. TDS turns them into raging lunatics. Tormented by the thought of a man they adamantly disagree. They become rabid and unhinged.

As Spock would say, "Fascinating."

It's like every brain cell fires at the same time and you're left with an irrational caged animal in need of a tranquilizer or quaaludes.

Quaaludes or methaqualone is a powerful sedative hypnotic drug that was used to treat insomnia; also known to create feelings of euphoria and relaxation.

Just what the person suffering from TDS needs to subdue the hostility and rage the thought of Donald Trump manages to summon from deep within their psyche.

Someone break Bill Cosby out of jail so he can resume his role as the chief quaalude dispensary. People would be better off taking quaaludes instead of smoking pot. Society would be too.

Maybe if al gore would shut up about the environment and the evilness of man kind and preach a message of simplicity without going psychotic his movement would pick up some momentum. Instead he incessantly moans and complains about modern life; while he lives in a mansion and flies in airplanes to preach his message of save the planet.  He’s just another green hypocrite that wants to make rules for others. Maybe he and John Kerry had a love child and its name is Alexandria occasio Cortez. 

Facebook

 I rejoined the facebook after a 10 month hiatus and started a new account with a different email address.  Sure enough, now I get dancing cats in my feed.  

One of the associate pastors from my childhood church lead my moms funeral.  We connected on facebook.  And he posts some of the most profound things...  Here are some of the quotes:

Be soft.  Do not let the world make you hard.  Do not let pain make you hate.  Do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness.  Take pride that even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place." - Kurt Vonnegut

How beautiful is the heart of those who go through the worst storms in life and still choose to stay gentle, silent, patient, kind and humble.

More than ever, I want us to live more consciously and compassionately.  Let me repharese; more than ever, I want to live more consciously and compassionately.

Somewhere out there, someone is listening to brids stead of breaking news - and the world feels a little more hopeful there.

These thought provoking quotes make me stop and think.  My existence has been hard.   At times my heart is dented and tarnished.  I think about the article about self care and how important it is and for people in my generation, this does not compute.  We get a syntax error when someone blurts out self care or something about taking care of yourself.  People participating in self care are soft.  Kindness is soft.  Maybe my perspective is flawed - for these are the people that are changing the world - more aligned with kindness.  How beautiful is the heart of those who go through the worst storms in life and still choose to stay gentle, silent, patient, kind and humble.

What comes to mind for me is defeated.  Crushed.  Dented.  Harsh.  Judgemental.

There sure is a lot to contemplate in the quotes above.   

 

And just like that

Savannah Guthrie's kidnapping vanished from the media. All it took was bombing Iran. Poof. Gone.

In other news, the media is taking a deep dive into Talarico beating Crockett in the primary.  Here’s the thing - no one wants a ghetto talking hoodrat representing them on a national stage.  Jasmine Crockett is highly educated and the only time she manages to pull it together to sound intelligent is when she is speaking with national media.  The rest of the time she talks like a lifelong multigenerational welfare recipient.  She’s not authentic.  Shes a cartoon character simultaneously representing the best and worst of her people.  Drop out and get baked.   

Talarico. He’s 36 years old.  Just to put things in perspective - I’m 19 years older than he is. Wtf?!?

Regular people

Who ever thought putting regular people in advertising was a good idea is either crazy or I'm crazy.

The thinking is regular people seeing regular people in advertising builds a sense of community and commonality between the business and the customer. I'll do business where advertising images show people that look like me or other members of the community. Especially true with minor facial variations or lack of symmetry. One eye bigger than the other… fat people. Different racial profiles. A wonky eye. A double chin. Some of the above. All of the above.

That strategy doesn't work with people like me. I don't want to see myself or other imperfections that I deal with on a daily basis where I do business. Especially in their advertising images. I prefer the warmth of artificial perfection. Sanitized of imperfection.

It's like woke got a advertising/marketing degree…. How's that working? It doesn't work for me and I'm probably an outlier because I contradict their data. Maybe their data is flawed.

Ring Ring

Autozone can I help you

Espanol?

No

Click

Shooting on 6th

3 dead. 14 injured. Not the Austin I know.