My sisters husband was in a terrible automobile accident. Head on collision at highway speeds on a two lane road. He sustained major injuries to his abdominal region. They had to operate on him to repair the injuries. They waited almost a week to do the operation. While he was in post op icu, he went into cardiac arrest. They worked on him for 27 minutes to bring him back to life. Somewhere along the line he had a stroke. Since then, he it has been one thing after the other with him. Every time they turn around he's back in the hospital with another issue. He's no longer of sound mind and has gotten belligerent and abusive to my sister. Some of the things he has said can't be undone. My sister says she realizes he's not right in the head; but that doesn't change the hurt his words and actions have caused to her. I don't know how she manages to stay strong. As she said, she thinks she's in the bottom floor of hell and surprise, the floor falls out from under them and they reach an ever greater depth of hell. I don't know what the future holds for him, her or their family.
About two years ago, my Dad short circuited completely. He was in the hospital for a week or 2. He was in an alternate reality than the one I was in. He was frail and looked malnourished. He had a DNR in place. I had not fully read it prior to this. I learned after the fact that I violated his DNR and put him on hydration and nutrition. He was released from the hospital and was put into hospice. By the grace of God he pulled through and has been stable for the last two years. He has Parkinson's disease. Did I do the right thing? According the the DNR, I did not. I think I did the right thing. I wouldn't have done anything different because letting someone dehydrate or starve themself to death is inhumane.
About 10 years ago my wife almost died for complications from the flu, MRSA and sepsis. She was in a coma for a week or two. Her infection was managed through chemistry. They would analyze her blood and used the data to administer her drugs that eventually healed her. She had scaring in her throat from the trache that was in her throat. They put a stint in her throat to keep scar tissue from forming. We had two or three returns to the hospital because the stint became dislodged. The last time it happened, they put a big stint in and we went to Dallas to visit a surgeon who essentially cut the scarred part of her trachea out and sewed it together and she has been fine ever since. Her respiratory system is vulnerable to allergens. She's alive and well.
My sisters situation got me thinking - I think her husbands number was up and he probably should have died and modern medicine intervened and brought him back to life. Actually, he was dead and maybe that was his time to go. My wife could have died but she was a fighter. Her heartbeat never stopped. My Dad's heartbeat never stopped. As long as the heart is powered by itself, the person is still alive? I don't know.
Maybe when the heart stops on it's own, that is when it's time to go. Does anyone make a full recovery after the heart stops and is restarted? I know a guy that had open heart surgery for 8 hours or something. He came back and he was a depressed mess. He decided he had gender disforia and had his penis cut off and started taking hormonal supplements and decided he's a woman. He got divorced, his family abandoned him and he lives alone and volunteers in an assisted living community. He writes a blog that is kind of interesting. I think he writes it in hopes his grandkids someday get to read it and learn who he was since the grandkids aren't allowed to see him. He paid a high price and ruined his life to become a woman. I hope he thinks it was worth it.
What I'm getting at is once the heart stops, a person is dead. Should that person be resusitated? Do they leave and come back damaged? My wife and my dad are both okay - but their heart never stopped. People that had their heart stop and restart come back different. So maybe that is where the line should be drawn. No restarting a stopped heart.
If my brain is dying, will my wife leave me? Will I end up in the custody of the state? If my mind fails and I start being billigerent, I don't think my wife will stick around for that. Her grandma took care of her grandpa when he had Alzheimers. The story goes he was horrible to her. She stuck it out and took care of him until he died. Will my wife do the same? Would I do the same for her?
That's enough. Time to stop.
