Sputtering out

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 Sometimes my mind becomes a blank piece of paper.  Or the wavelength electrical activity in my head flatlines and goes blank. Other times my mind is alive and well. Sometimes it feels like my brain is on life support. I’ve had a few appointments scheduled for cognitive testing and I always cancelled them. On one hand I am curious if I have a problem. On the other hand I don’t want to know the answer.  My doctor says it would be good to know because some cognitive problems can be treated  Treatment only prolongs the path to the inevitable  

Words are lost as are thoughts.  Poof. It’s gone. My mind is a vacant lot. Maybe the dopamine receptors in my brain are burned out.

I remember a few years ago I was driving and had no idea where I was…on a route I drive daily. Momentary panic set in. What was that?  

Flatlining during a conversation happens. I know I should say something but I’m blank. I wonder if the people I’m talking to notice. Like a temporary power outage. What was that?  

I had two MRIs last year and was referred to a neurologist. I never made that appointment. 

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