I learned a few things this week

 Here's the deal.  I don't like my job.  And work is a four letter word.  It was reinforced on Friday.  I was on a conference call and got my ass handed to me in front of about 10 people for 20 solid minutes of being questioned, providing explanations and being told point blank that my performance is unacceptable and it has to change.  I don't know if that was meant as a threat, but that's how I took it.

A much younger me would have popped off with "if you think you can do better, come and show me how because everything I'm doing isn't working to move the needle."  

After that little exchange, I decided if they want me to quit, they're going to have to fire me.  A strategy a friend of mine employed.  

This whole idea was a disaster.  I'm not a "manager" per se.  I'm a trench worker that lead effectively from the middle.  Not from the top.  I'm a lieutenant.  Not a general.  Maybe that's a flaw.  Maybe I'm not effectively motivating my lieutenants. I don't know.

Today's activity was explaining why there were red and orange colors in my turn tracker but not a single delay.  What's more important?  Hitting in turn benchmarks or finding a way to salvage the on time departure.  They're both important.

It's speak up month.  I decided to submit mine today.  If you don't want to hear what's on my mind, don't ask.  This years was just as bad if not worse than the one I submitted two years ago.  Some of the questions were absolutely offensive.  Like I said, if you don't want the answer, don't ask.

I've also dialed in on the next chapter.  I want to work in a repair industry.  Cars, electronics, appliances, musical instruments?  I don't want to be a manager any more.  I want to work with my hands.  Or work with people that work with their hands.