Employment

-
I'm not the leader I was 5-10 years.  I was a better leader back then.  I had passion.  I had the fire in the belly.  

I finally landed the job.  I've been doing it for a year.  I don't like it.  It's a job I can do, I think but I don't know.  I've never been told I'm doing it wrong.  I've never been told I'm doing it right.  No news is good news, right?

I don't know if I've changed, the role has changed or both.  I don't feel good about the work I do.  I get through the days.  Get up and do it again.

The fruit was dying on the vine when I left and that hasn't changed up my return.  If anything we've given away every asset of value we had.  We've learned to do more with less.  The goals have gotten higher.  

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

I shoulda been a mechanic

-
I often say I should have been a mechanic or a carpenter.  Probably mechanic.  Our front door lock mechanism has been acting up.  It has a typical entry from the front where you push down with your thumb to turn the cylinder to open the door.  The back of the door door knob fell off because it had gotten loose and stripped out the holes.  Turns it out it was much more than that - I had to figure out how to get the entire front pull door handle off to fix it because the latch mechanism fell apart.  I learned this after replacing the door knob and it was still not working properly.  I figured out how to get the pull door handle off and it hit the ground and fell apart into like a dozen different pieces.  I had never seen the mechanism together....  with some trial and error I figured out how it works and was able to time the mechanism and put it back together.  I rebuilt it!!  All the plates, gears, levers, pins, springs and gears. ...
Read more

My Mom Died

-
On Monday my mom proclaimed the promise of her baptism. After years of suffering from dementia, she was restored; made whole on the other side. One thing you may not know about my mom is she was tough as nails while having the grace of an angel. She carried my dad through some medical scares and was a huge advocate to him getting the care he needed with her medical background as a registered nurse. Roughly 10 years ago I was charged with taking mom back to Pennsylvania to see her dad, my pappy when he moved into a nursing home. We went to his house and there had been some changes to the back porch. It was my job to take care of mom. I saw my uncle and leapt up onto the raised porch. There used to be a railing around the porch. Mom tried to do the same and tripped on the ledge letting out a yell. Her leg got pretty torn up and was bleeding pretty bad. We got her into the house and decided she needed to go to the hospital. Mom never flinched or complained about the situati...
Read more

I've seen things

-
The last couple days of my mom's life...  don't quite know what to say about them.  I remember last Sunday when I came to her house and saw her slumped in the chair barely able to move after the medication fell out of her mouth and onto her shirt.  No one was available to change her shirt.  I asked my Dad if he would do it and he declined.  I did it.  It was the most awkward thing.  I had her told the clean shirt up to cover herself as I carefully removed the dirty shirt.  I planted by eyes next to her head looking at the back to her chair and was able to help my Mom be comfortable while preserving her dignity.  There are some things about your parents that you shouldn't know.  Like what an 80 year old body looks like while deprived of nutrients and exercise....  So there was that. Then seeing my Mom in the hospital bed after she could no longer walk.  Laying there with her head cocked to the side and her mouth open as dying pr...
Read more