Revival

 Charlie Kirk's death and the events following indicates a renewed interest in religion/spirituality.  Charlie made witnessing and sharing one's faith great again.  When I was growing up, church and religion was just something we did.  Not out of having a relationship with God but something we did on Sunday mornings.  It was rarely talked about before church or anytime after church until we got ready to go again.  It was a ritual that involved passive participation and no real application outside those four walls.  At least I never realized or understood an application beyond the building and Sunday service.  Never felt an inclination to act differently or discuss with anyone - not through the confirmation process or anything else.  It was a complete waste of time.

A year or two leading up to marrying my wife, we got involved in a church.  When Z came we were actively engaged with our church family.  Attending service, volunteering, living the life so to speak, attending events, etc.  Going to church was fundamental to my identity and really played a role into who I was at the time.  At the same time it was something we did with our church family and elevated our/my effectiveness in living out my life.

When I started working at the blue, I was engaged for awhile and dropped out completely after becoming a leader.  The work schedule was less than optimal - it was pretty terrible actually.  I was unwilling to make the sacrifices needed to work God and church within my routine without having negative affects in other parts of my work and home life.  The schedule was hard enough.  So roughly 20 years going about living life on my own with support of close friends and mentors.

2025 has brought a renewed interest in having a relationship with God.  My Mom died.  I believe she proclaimed the promise of her baptism and enjoys everlasting life in heaven.  She became a fierce angel warrior which is different than how she lived her life on Earth.  Her decline and dying brought people back into my circle who I admire and respect that I have not seen in 20 years.  

After my Mom died, would spend time thinking about mom in at attitude and space of prayer.  I found it very focusing and relaxing.  Perhaps how other people feel with meditation.  When I decided to leave the blueniverse, I started attending church online.  While it was nice to be hear the message, it wasn't the same...

Post departure from employment, I attended church in person again. An unexpectedly emotional experience.  Just being in the house of God again.  Singing and praising God.  The fellowship of doing so with like minded people.  The flood of guilt, embarrassment and shame.  Not because of anything that happened out of the ordinary during service - the realization I walked away from that relationship.  Followed by renewed sense of yearning, realization and belonging.  Realizing how important this aspect of life is to who I am as a person.  I felt accepted.  A reunion.  I was home.

It was baby dedication Sunday for the first one.  We had Z dedicated and had dropped out before having J dedicated.  Tears flowed down my cheeks as I watched these families dedicate their kids with the hope and optimism their children would come to know Jesus as the entire family re-committed before the community walk with God.  

It is said men carry the spiritual torch in a household.  It was true of my Grandma and Grandpa.  My Mom and my Dad.  And it is true in my own family.  My wife had every opportunity to continue going to church while I worked or was too tired.  When I dropped out, we all dropped out.  Men - it is your privilege to carry and fan the flame of your torch to lead your family through darkness. 

Over the last 12 years are so, I knew who Charlie Kirk was and found his dialogue with people who think differently than he did amusing.  It wasn't until the last 4-5 years that I witnessed how important Charlie Kirk's faith was to him and how he wanted the same gift/blessing/relationship with God he enjoys for other people.  He boldly stood his ground and shared his faith with nearly anyone and everyone; not out of spite but out of kindness, compassion and strength.

My zeal for God and Christianity has been reborn over the last year.  With this realization and conscious realignment to get back in sync with my faith, I am a better person.  Still broken.  Still struggling.  And working towards being more Christ like in my interactions with others and myself.  Grace.  Compassion.  Forgiveness.  Acceptance.  

 May the Lord bless you and keep you.  May the Lord make his face shine upon you and be gracious onto you.  May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace.  Thanks be to God.