Children

It's about time for those employed by the government to stop referring to children as ours. My children are not theirs. Other people's children are not mine. There's not a collective ownership of children. Technically there's not a shared guardianship of children either.

Parents don't know what's best for their children said a band director I played with. I never saw that band director the same way again. I saw him as evil. A monster after that.

Population

Went to DFW. Station manager is leaving. The place is huge. Five terminals with a sixth being built. The campus is overwhelming in size and people density.

Airports are getting larger and more congested.

It is controversial to ask as a member of the industry - how do so many people have somewhere to go that requires jet transportation? It is disappointing to me that air travel has been commoditized to the point it is affordable by majority of people in economically developed areas. As a matter of fact it's no longer for the privileged or the wealthy. It's practically a right. Basic human need?

The airport is exhausting. The level of engagement and bandwidth is disproportionate to the flight count.

Colleague departed for competitor. Pay increase of 45 thousand dollars. Pay increase is half of previous salary.

Herb

What's that herb or grass that is burned to cast out demons from physical space? I might need some.

Simon Sinek

What does he do besides run his mouth about culture and leadership? Has he ever been in the trenches of day in day out leadership or has he always been a 'thought leader?'

Body of work

One characteristics inherited from Dad. Producing high quality work and letting the quality of work speak for itself without fanfare.

People tell me we look alike. We also work alike. And I guess to a degree we don't like in other people what we don't like in ourselves.

I've always been a leader that leads with the head and not the heart. Call me to man. Even grinch. We have the leadership connection meetings at work. My rep for the last 2 years is very unemotional and data driven. Not a fan.

The way I counteract my leadership style is to hire people not like me that make my defective circle of competence more round. Hire for my own deficiencies while having an awareness to take a deep breath and respond instead of reacting. Bah.

Travel trends

Since Covid 'they' say people are more interested in travel and upscale experiences. People are no longer interested in accumulating of 'stuff.'

I think it's more of a cyclical thing.

People used to spend all their time at work. So they wanted their homes to be their fortress.

Covid happened and people spent all their time at home. By government mandate. They got tired of being at home for work.

Now people don't want to be at work or at home. So the want go somewhere.

In other words Covid caused a shift in where people don't want f to be.

The don't want to be at home or work. They now want to be somehwere else . So that is where disposable income spend has shifted.

OMG

 Am I the only one who literally laughs out loud while they read what’s written?  I should do a greatest hits collection with the occasional line or two that literally give me the giggles. 

I may very well be my biggest fan.

Good god - what’s wrong with me. I’m defective in some way. Or I’ve got an underdeveloped (or maybe overdeveloped) part of my brain. A character flaw?

The greatest gift of life is being able to enjoy your own company.  James Taylor should write another song - I’ve got a friend in me. 

Financial advisory

I was moving towards working with my parents financial advisor in setting up an IRA account. Everything was fine until I asked for the account numbers so I could make a large initial investment into the account and subsequent scheduled monthly deposits.

She wouldn't give me the account number and wanted me to give them access to my other accounts so THEY could take money from my account and put it into IRA.

Like WTF?!? Who controls this relationship? Me giving and you taking are not the same thing. My response? Ghosting. It's my money. It's not yours. I am happy to give you money. I am not okay with you taking money… semantics? Principle.

Ukraine

Here's how I see it. Either they end the war or we cut the aid. If that doesn't work, we can attack Ukraine along with Russia. Cause a complete realignment of the world order. Europe and nato has done nothing. This isn’t our problem. It’s theirs. All Zelensky wants is money and weapons - without offering or committing to in anything in return. The hell with him.

Make a deal for the mineral rights and rare earth materials or we can facilitate your destruction by no longer providing you the weaponry or money you want.

We're not your sugar daddy. If we are, we’re being raw dogged. Pay up or sleep in the bed you've made.

Global panhandler. Freeloader. Grifter. Cheat. Liar. Scum.  Wheres the money?  Didja give it back to Joe?  

Omar Thomas

Omar Thomas is a pompous, arrogant jackass. Having heard an interview with him, I don't want to hear another composition of his music ever again. I'd rather not attend a concert than hear his work. What an ass. Diane Donovan of KMFA was - like a middle school girl fawning over her high school crush. An absolutely terrible hour of music and discussion.

While his musical textures are interesting, he is a contrived intellectual talking about his time in the Ivy League schools and how special Boston is due to the number and quality of higher education institutions. There's something special in the air when all the eggheads are out walking around as the weather changes eating ice cream at the start of the fall semester. Shut the fuck up. 

Omar Thomas has been told he’s exceptional and that he’s brilliant and talented probably his entire life. And he’s internalized that script and believes he’s special.  He has no humility. He’s a DEI poster child.   

Then he talks about the priority of paying the musicians on his album a living wage. Like they're some kind of coffee bean being harvested in some third world shit hole.

Anyone who talks about our shared existence combined with their own personal journey is full of shit. Like we should bow down to him. He's special. He's ordinary.

Let's talk about the reality of your existence instead of some liberal DEI fantasyland you've assembled in your demented mind.

He dresses like Eddie Murphy playing the role of Akeem, prince of Zamunda in the movie Coming to America. Bow to the king. The warrior. Whatever.  The circus called. They want their clown back. Kiss the ring. 

Can you even imagine being in front of a mirror and putting that paint on your war face, tribal symbols or whatever?  It’s like that affirmation guy on SNL - I’m good enough. I’m smart enough. And gosh darn, people like me. Wrong. 

I can hear Jerry junkin fawning over Omar in a concert or interview acting like Omar is his favorite back person. Much the same way he did when he spoke of Viet Cuong - who is Jerry’s favorite Vietnamese person.  He swoons over him.  They’re not just talented people. They’re talented (insert label here) people. 

Got to be famous

I've never seen someone more desperate to be famous and relevant to culture than Meghan markle. She married a prince. Then stirred up a bunch of drama in his family. Prince removed from family. They move
To California and claim they want privacy while doing a special tv program with Oprah Winfrey. Does a pod cast. It flops. Now she's trying to develop a lifestyle brand with a companion tv show or something. It's gonna flop too.

Here's the deal. No one cares about Meghan and her goof of a husband. Both are irrelevant, disingenuous grifters. The public doesn't care about them. Yet she keeps trying to weasel her way into the public consciousness. She's ordinary. Boring. Irrelevant.

Nothing she can do can fix that. She's blown it. She's done irreparable damage to her brand. To spare's brand too. She's desperate. Collectively everyone is done with her. Damaged goods. Everything she touches is tarnished and dented. Goodbye.

Swiss cheese effect

It is said that a bad accident or safety incident is cause by multiple breakdowns in procedures not being followed. As if every safety procedure is a control against something bad happening. Think of it them as the cheese between the holes in Swiss cheese. Think of an accident as a rod being able to go through a hole in a block of cheese with any cheese obstructing its passage.

Maybe promotions are the same. No obstructions to get through the block of cheese. And on some levels a promotion. Is the same as an accident.

Peace talks

Why is 'Europe' upset about the US, Russia and Ukraine having peace talks? The Europeans could have initiated this a long time ago…. Instead they've let this stupid war drag on for years without doing anything about it besides working through nato to supply arms to Ukraine to fight. Whiny Europeans have been part of the problem. Now they think they are worthy of being part the solutions? Step aside.

Biden was ineffective. NATO is just as bad. We got rid of one. Let's get rid of the other. They're all a bunch of fat cat losers.

The First Time

 The first time you do anything the first time is scary.  It can also be an adrenaline rush.  Regret.  Excitement.  Worked up about nothing.  Memorable.  Embarrassing. Disappointing.  Gross.  

The first time I wore a MAGA hat, I didn't know what to expect.  I didn't know if someone punch me, yell vulgarities at me, engage in confrontation...  It was kinda scary.  I figured I would try it out at the local barbecue restaurant.  How could you go wrong being conservative where men and women are eating beef, wearing boots and cowboy hats.  It was the safest space possible to venture our with a controversial  head piece.  Safe space.  What you are?  A snow flake?  At any rate - it's either an incredibly stupid decision to wear a MAGA hat or a move of strength.

It's an interesting experience because people either look at you or ignore you.  And it's weird because it can be intimidating, if not angering to some people.  And in a way, it feels like you got caught with your hand in the in the cookie jar... because you want the cookie but you didn't ask for permission.  But I've never been confronted with any negativity when I've worn one of my hats in public.  

At the same time wearing a hat is completely invigorating because it makes a statement.  A strong and unapologetic statement at that.  In a way it's invigorating.  A rush.  

Perhaps it makes a proclamation of ignorance and bigotry.  A narrow minded, America first view of the world?

I don't know if people are offended or don't care.  Maybe they're worried about FAFO and are afraid of the reaction they'll get out of me if they say something negative or hostile.  Maybe other people just don't care.  Or they're happy letting the emperor wear is new clothes.

What is most surprising about wearing a maga hat in public is this...  everyone who has ever said anything to me has always been complimentary.  They love the hat.  Men will give you a nod.  Women will come up and say they like it.  Which has always surprised me.

And what's even more interesting is I have a Facebook profile picture wearing a red hat that is a variation on a theme.  It has the presidential seal on it and references the 60th (most recent) inauguration of the president of the United States.  The side of it says Trump and the bill has Donald Trump's signature and 47th president.  The people least expected will give the photo a like.  It's pleasantly surprising.  

Unsure if it is triggering to some people.  There are some places I probably won't wear a maga hat.  Like to a family member's school - unless it is the oldest at university.  I wouldn't wear it to a work function or endorsed event.  I wouldn't wear it with my colleagues.  I don't know if I'd wear it at a church activity.  But I don't go to church anymore.  

One time I wore a hat to a social activity at the facility my parents reside.  Some of our lifelong family friends were there, R and G.  I was surprised when G said she liked it and told me she was glad to see I was a like minded individual.  I think you had to pick my jaw up off the floor because I would never have expected R and G to be maga people.

The thing with maga - I think there are a lot of people who are onboard with the America first agenda.  And for whatever reason, most people are afraid of being judged for sharing that information with others.  I am loud and proud.

I previously wrote we live in strange times because people are proud of what they should be ashamed of.  Food for thought.

Obituary

I do not want my obituary to say 30 year airline employee. At this rate that is what it will say.

What I wish it would say is "he knows stuff and fixes things."

Changing that trajectory is scary. Not recreating one's self - but how long will it take.

Best of

I used to have this theory that everyone should have the best in class of something. Or the upper echelon of something. To experience the finest of something. Something that you enjoy. Something that delights. Elevates. Provides a heightened level of enjoyment or satisfaction. Exceptional.

I don't know if I feel that way anymore. I don't have the means to accomplish that anymore. I don't know if I care anymore. Maybe good is enough. Good enough. Not great. Not exceptional. Ordinary. Boring. Does the job. Marginal. Utilitarian.

No more being a Jones. No more keeping up with the Jones's.

Ordinary. Boring. Average.

Inflation does that. Undesired recalibration of expectation resulting in the lowering of standards.

Politics, lies and deceit

Have ruined this country. And it takes men like Donald Trump and Elon musk to peel back the curtain to show the rest of us the corruption that runs rampant in our government. Trump calls them swamp creatures. I call them sewer rats. 

 
DEI has shown me meritocracy does not matter. DEI has shown me that the more brown people employed by an organization, the better. And also the white people still have the empower but they try to make it look like they don't. But they do…. Because they're the cream poured over the top of the coffee.

It's either the stage in life I'm living or the company I work …. The company is run by kids. All these educated kids with these grand ideas that are inexperienced, that won't work and are not based on reality. It all the front line workers that figure out how to make their idea somewhat work while they complain about it not working. If you know so much get your ass out of your corporate office and show us how.

They used to be called support centers because they supported us. Now they're corporate offices because all they do is tell us what to do. They don't support anything. We support them. They take from the bottom to give to the top. It's turned into a bureaucracy. Just like the government.

We celebrated our 25th anniversary. They allotted one dollar per person for cake. Gave everyone two cheap flare buttons and a small postcard. My team left the stuff on the table. Didn't even want it.

During a company meeting they talked about our competitors making a ton of money. We're trying to cover our operating expenses. Our leaders take great pride in giving our customers a premium product at a budget friendly price, calling it a value proposition. Well…. It's not making money and not paying the bills. Maybe we could learn a thing or two from the other guys. There's a handful of decision makers that need to go. Maybe it's time for me to go. If you don't like it leave. Watch them run this bitch into the ground from a distance instead of from within. I wonder if they shirt the stock?!!!

Narcissist

At my level and above at the workplace there are a lot of narcissistic qualities in the peer group. One member of peer group refuses to open her own car door if a man is sharing the ride. She will literally stand there like a fool until someone opens the car door for her.

That's not chivalry. That's not team work. That's demanded slavery.

Technology

Here's a thought - technology isn't being implemented in the work force to make people's jobs easier. It's implemented to eliminate or reduce the number of people on payroll required to do jobs.

Go ahead

What the heck is it with people that defend the big boss when they're being unreasonable? Like are you on our team or their team? Ass kisser.

And then you prove your marginal understanding of our metrics by rationalizing a metric that YOU are calculating wrong when the right information is at fingertips.

FAFO.

93

A moment to recognize John Williams turning 93 years old today. That's the same as high octane gas.

There are people in the fandom expecting John to do another score and get back onto the concert scene.

John Williams cancelled all concerts in 2024. He is scheduled be a guest at a concert in Miami towards the end of February. The notes made no mention of him conducting; merely a guest.

Read into what you will.

I'm thankful for all the music John has given the world. At this point expecting more is selfish considering the man has given so much of himself to the world.

Payback bitch

Biden sure played his hand poorly.

Seriously

Kanye west is telling the world he has autism. For some reason this is the most hilarious thing I've heard this week. 🤣 🤣 🤣
What's next?

He's trans?!?

At least he's not like will smith's kid wearing a styrofoam block on his head looking like a Minecraft house.

Four Letter Word

A friend of mine says work is a four letter word.  I guess it doesn't matter what you do.  Working sucks.  By all accounts today was to be a celebration.  We have a little monthly contest at work.  After a year, my team came in first place on two critical metrics.  First was mishandled bags with a ZERO mishandled bag ratio.  It doesn't get any better than that.  Second, the team won the turn tracker contest measuring various milestones within a turn.  The thought is if you meet all these benchmarks within a turn, the chances of getting the flight out on time increase exponentially.  My team was been steadily climbing since last May when the contest was launched.  I've rallied my team, held them accountable, put pressure on my supervisors and set expectations for nearly flawless performance on every turn.  While my team is far from flawless, we are performing better than the other teams in the region.  Another par of the equation is luck.  Sometimes, no matter what you do, an on time departure just doesn't happen.  It's maintenance.  A a customer issues.  Excessive wheelchairs.  Someone makes a god awful mess in a lavatory.  Whatever.  Yet somehow we aced it this month.

My manager was quick to congratulate as were a few members of my peer group.  The thing about it is - I don't care.  In some ways I've become the kind of boss I didn't work well under.  Always talking about numbers and questioning stumbles - just like the treatment I get.  What are you gonna do to prevent failure x from happening again?!?!?  Blahblahblahblah.  Who cares?

Now the pressure is on to do it again in February to prove it wasn't an accident.  Then comes March and we have to prove we can do it again with more flights.  

While I should be happy about this - I'm not.  

Today, we (the team) did a community service activity.  We spent 3 hours working at the local food bank.  In our world, we are expected to give back to the communities we do business.  Every quarter we do something as a group.  A few years ago we adopted a creek in a park behind the airport.  That stopped during covid.  We asked about doing it again and they required a 400 dollar donation to continue picking up trash at the creek.  ????  No.  Thank you.  Now we do the food bank.  Todays activity was either sorting rotten carrots from marginal carrots and putting 5 lbs of them in a bag and sending it down the line for someone else to verify and knot.  Either that, or re-arrange dry goods in a box so vegetables (squash and zucchini) could be added.  The box is then sealed, labeled, palletized.  Then amazon comes and delivers takes them away delivering them to the recipients.  I think we did 5 pallets of boxes stacked about as tall as I am.  It takes a village to feed a village.  I don't know.  Whatever.  When our shift was over we were notified we packaged roughly 2000 meals worth of food.  Took a picture.  Sent to the boss.  She approves.

SO...  won contest.  zero mbr.  community service project.  #BLB / #BFD

I’m don’t know man

I feel like democrats believe government is the solution and republicans feel like government is the problem.

Living the life of a celebrity

 You know what?  Celebrities are ordinary but they refuse to accept that.  They get paid huge sums of money to play make believe while those absorbed with contemporary culture shell out their money to be entertained by them.  They are delusional and pathological liars.  As a society we indulge them and their illness to the point they are placed on culturally pillars.  They think they're special.  They think they matter.  They think the rest of us should fall in line behind them.  Many do.  I refuse.

It's when people like TOm Hanks start running their mouths about politics and they have a HUGE audience because of the work they've done.  STFU Tom - for every fan that agrees with you there is another one who is the polar opposite and how hates you.

My team was watching Captain Phillips with Tom Hanks in it.  He does a fine job in the moving pretending to be captain Phillips while the ship is being attacked by pirates from a third world shithole.  It's a good movie.  And I hate watching him in it because he's an outspoken liberal with a big mouth and a huge audience.  Like fuck you dude.  Let people think for themselves.  You P-Diddy/Epstein Island piece of shit.

Some people think being ugly and casting judgement on celebrities is mean.  I don't think so.  They choose to life their lives in the spotlight.  Living it the spotlight brings scrutiny from the public.  They can't have it both ways.  All these asshole judge us from their mansions.  Having no idea what the life of a typical American is like and wanting their issues and pet projects to be our issues. and projects  Instead, it should our issues and projects becoming their issues and projects.

It's like they suffer from Joe Biden syndrome.  They care more about people in the rest of the world than they care about people in our country.  Like GTFOH.

I saw a recent photo of Nicole Kidman.  She was a celebrity crush of mine. But God.  She has gotten so ugly.  She's had too much work done in all the wrong places trying to maintain her youthful appearance. And she's ruined her face.  Like Michael Jackson ruined his face.  Her ears are bigger than Marco Rubio's.  Like YO - You're getting old.  But you're too vain to accept it.  So yeah - we do get to pick on you because you're ruining your body while trying to drink from the fountain of youth.

It's interesting for me to see fans comment on Nicole Kidmans face that we should leave her alone.  Leave her alone?  Why?  She's the clown in the townsquare after all those surgeries and we all get to point and snicker.  Meangirls club.  It's not just a fictional movie.  It's life.  It's every aspect of life.  Can you accept that?

Selena Gomez made a video crying about all of her people being persecuted in the ICE raids rounding up illegal aliens and deporting them.  WTF?!?!  The blowback from the right was brutal.  Talk radio had heard she pulled it down because she was afraid people on the right would stop buying her cosmetic products.  She doesn't care about "her people" being deported.  She cares about losing dollars that will stop lining her pockets.  She only cares and voices an opinion when it's free or when she profits from it.  Not when it comes with a cost to her business.

Now there is a company in the UK that is offering crisis management and therapy to celebrities who decide to run their mouths on social media and receive blowback from it.  Nothing says snowflake celebrity like needing a crisis management consultant and therapy session because people were mean to you for saying something that wasn't received as favorably as you thought it would.

Or Ariana Grande - she's everywhere since Wicked came out.  The only thing anyone in the public is supposed to say about her is how great she is and her performance with Ferdinand the bull was amazing.  And they're amazing.  And they both have eating disorders and act like they are survivors coming from an abusive relationship - aka the director and producer of their shitty movie.

Or seeing videos about Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson (aka meathead) talking about all the houses and cars he owns and how much he's spent on all this shit.  Go fuck yourself while the rest of us are driving Hondas and living in the slums of the world compared to your gated community.  They brag of this shit and some people eat it up.  I'm sick of it.  Then The Rock comes out making a plea for the rest of us to give money to the Lahaina wildfire victims.  Hey asshole - give your own money to the Lahaina wildfire victims.  Piece of shit.

And just recently it broke that some 550 pound rapper is suing Lyft because the driver wouldn't let this hunk of fat in his car.  Jesus - put her in a crate and load her into the back of a ford pick up truck.  Make sure it's ventilated.  Discrimination.  How about discriminating against all the Twinkies and ding dongs.  People of size.  You're fat.  some other woman bitching about not fitting in an airplane seat and being forced two buy two tickets.

I hate our culture.  I hate celebrities and fame.  I hate what we worship.   It's getting unhealthy. Not only got me but for our society.   

Grief

Anticipatory grieving is the natural reaction to the possibility of an impending loss, such as the death of a loved one.  This phenomenon occurs before the actual loss of life.

Back in 2021 I moved my parents out of their house and into assisted living.  Upon arrival to assisted living, my dad (living with Parkinson's) was having a hard time.  I think the move was hard on both of them, but for different reasons.  

My Dad's brain completely short circuited.  He always kept his medications in a little plastic box and they were all mixed up.  He would self medicate and take whatever he thought he needed when he wasn't feeling right or Parkinson's was acting up.  When he moved into the ALF (assisted living facility) they started giving him his medications as the prescriptions were written.  I think it temporarily fried his brain and compounded the issue by being dehydrated with a UTI (urinary tract infection).  He probably weighed 100 lbs and was in the hospital.  I thought he was going to die, as did the hospital workers.  I sat with him while he was in and out of consciousness and held is hand and talked to him.  Cried a lot.  Somehow at that point I realized how old my Dad is and how fragile his health was.  Not knowing if he was going to recover, he was put into hospice care.  I checked him out of the hospital and had his room moved to a memory care facility because the resident care ratio was like 5:1 vs 50:3 or something.

When he got to memory care he was hallucinating and was in an altered state of reality asking for his parents.  Thinking the year was 1955 and he was at the courthouse.  He had no idea where he was, what year it was, yadayadayada.   By the grace of God he managed to recover.  From the time he went into the hospital to the time he graduated from hospice was like three months.  

That time was trying.  Confronted with making decisions I never thought I had to make for him and dealing with the realization that it is not a question of it he was going to pass but how soon he was going to pass.  Social workers were asking about funeral arrangements, burial plans, asking him what he wanted and all kinds of things that I was neither mentally nor emotionally prepared to deal with.

Going through that season of life changed me.  While in the hospital I told him it was okay for him to leave if he wanted and Mom, I and my sister would be okay.  I asked him if he wanted to see Grandma and Grandpa and other family members.  He never answered.  Having that one sided conversation with him allowed me to say goodbye and accept his crossing to the other side.  It brought resolution to the emotional turmoil and hurt in seeing my dad struggling for life.  It's when I said goodbye.  And maybe that's wrong.

At the darkest point, he turned a corner and pulled through and recovered strong than he had been in years, even to this day.  My Dad is a determined and stubborn man.  He is also a very caring man.

Growing up, my Dad and my Grandpa were my heroes.  As I aged, our relationship became strained.  I was a rebellious jerk and dropped out of college.  Confronting every aspiration my Dad had for me and flipping it - opting for the life of a working stiff, girls and fast cars.  Once I grew up we became the best of friends - once I got my head screwed on straight, got a real job and eventually settling down and marrying my wife.  I inherited his determination and strength and caring values.

As he continues to age, I see the flaws and human-nes of my first hero.  And sometimes it's a tough pill to swallow.  His competitiveness when there's no reason to compete.  His fear of missing out (FOMO) over some of the most trivial things in life.  They way he manages to 'work' a situation contrary to what was originally agreed upon.  Seeing judgement and disappointment he has harbored against my sister and her now deceased husband.  Every time I call him, the TV is blaring.  I just want to hang off the phone and keep calling until he turns the volume down.  The well spoken executive that wants people to visit yet he won't initiate or reciprocate in conversation.  The fierce independence he has in doing thing himself when he doesn't accept any assistance.

Feeling the pressure he puts on me to do things I am either not comfortable doing or unwilling to do because I don't want the liability of keeping everyone safe.  But it's the same as having kids.  No.  It's not.  Because if a 2.5 foot tall kid falls in the parking lot it's a bump and they get up and go about his life like nothing happened.  If a nearly 6 foot man falls in the parking lot, there's a high probability there will be a skin tear and broken bones or other injury.  Picking him back up and carrying him isn't an option - instead it will turn into an ambulance ride to the hospital that will cost 5 thousand dollars or something ridiculous.The bathroom accidents that don't stay in diapers and become an event of their own.  No, it's not the same as having kids.  Or having conversations with my Mom while my Dad was at his lowest and she tells me she "doesn't think she can be married to him anymore."  Like are you crazy?  What other option is there?  Divorce?  Then what?

What bothers me is seeing the struggle and witnessing the aging process first hand.  Knowing the aches pains and struggles I have at the age of 54 and seeing what lies ahead is something I don't in my consciousness.  I am disappointed in myself for being frustrated with my Dad while he struggles and being unwilling or incapable of being more accepting and loving of the situation.  Very disappointed in myself.  I wonder if my dad shares the same feeling.  Many priorities competing for bandwidth.  Wife, family, college age son, freshman son, work, self care and parents, financial pressures and sister.

Dealing the disappointment that as of now, this is my life.  While some parts of it are very fulfilling, others are quite disappointing.  

As of now, I think the mid to late forties and the first year or two of the fifties are one of the best stages of life.  Life is no longer fancy free living life at 100 miles per hour in a corvette with your hair blowing in the wind.  Instead, you start losing your hair, carrying some additional weight of responsibilities, fat and life is suddenly more serious.  The realization that my and my dad are 27 years apart in life.  When I got married, I was 27 years old.  My Dad was 54 years old.  Now I'm 54 years old and my just turned 82.  I'm the same age as my Dad when I got married.  

I wonder if my Dad felt the same then as I do now.  His Mom was sick and on her death bed.  He was at the pinnacle of his career.  He was putting on some pounds.  What different is while he was 54, I was 27.  Now that I'm 54, my kids are 22 and soon to be 15.  I guess I got started later than he did.  Which means as my kids get off on their own and have kids, I will be older than he when/if I me and my wife are blessed with grandkids.  

Shut up already.

Conspiracy theory

Anything true that those in power don't want you to know. Or anything absurd that can't possibly be true. Which is it?