Beards, long hair and tattoo

If you have any of the above and you’re fat, you're a lazy slob.

I wonder

I wonder why my oldest son rarely takes my calls and never calls me. At the same time I wonder why I talk to my dad at least once a week.

The situation with my son bothers me.

Fire Aid

Hollywood is doing a live concert fundraiser to take care of their own. As in those affected by wild fires - aka government encouraged arson. They'll do a concert. They want us to give money for aid.

These people are pathetic. They've got plenty of money to rebuild their own lives. They're mooching off the sympathies of their fans.

Hollywood can screw themselves. No one did a fundraising concert for Asheville NC or Tampa FL after being destroyed by hurricane. No one cares about these people. Why should we care about them.

And the only aid outreach for Lahaina Hawaii was some stupid begging operation executed by Oprah and Dwayne Johnson. They lent their faces to the cause expecting the rest of us to contribute.

Go fuck yourselves.

Television and Hollywood

Both are culturally inbred slop built on the self promotion of themselves. Without their self promotion they would not exist.

Little Einstein

 There was a student/parent/counselor conference today for my youngest at the high school.  I attended.  During the meeting the discussion focused around what my youngest wants to study in the next 3 years and charting a path based on his current career interests.  My son came in and was well spoken, well thought, well mannered and well put together.  I was most pleased with how much thought he has given to his future studies and the strategy he employed in selecting his coursework over the next three years.  Well done, sir.

My son wants long hair, which I obviously am not a fan of.  However, I thought about it and at the beginning of November I made a gentlemen's agreement with my son.  You can wear your hair as long as you want as long as it's not in your eyes.  He has stuck by that.  Whenever he is spoken to, he looks up and brushes his hair to the side with his hand and exchanges in conversation.  As it turns out, this has transferred into talking to all adults.  When he came in and said hello to the counselor, the first the he does is get the hair out of his eyes as he acknowledges the room.  Very cool.  He knows if he doesn't comply he will be escorted to the barbershop in quick time to have the situation rectified.  I'm most pleased that he takes it seriously and strives to be courteous and honor the agreement, not only with me but with everyone else, too.

I guess you could say today was an affirmation that my wife and I are doing a satisfactory job in parenting our kids.  Whoda thunk?!?!

At the conference probably have the tables were filled with Indian kids and their Indian parents.  Probably here on H1-B visas because it's obvious English is not their language of choice.  The Indians have this smug look on their face.  The show up bright eyed and bushy tailed.  They kiss the counselor's ass.  Wobble their heads back and forth while listening and their soaking everything up trying to extract every morsel of information out of the meeting - especially when it comes to college strategies, programs to garner favor with the institutions, scholarships and how to work the system.  These people are hungry for success and want to take advantage of any opportunity they can to get ahead.  I find it offensive - even disgusting.

Musk and Ramaswamy understand the culture problem in the US and realize the people from "over there" are hungry and driven.  This is why they are both proponents for the H1b visa program.  They got a hunger that no longer exists in Americans.  In fact, that hunger is probably dropping off of Asian people after they've been here longer than a generation.  All the Asian kids start getting into ricing out their Hondas and Toyotas.  But the Indian people - they're still first generation and they are driven to make a better life for themselves after coming from a third world shit hole like India, Pakistan or Bangladesh.

How do Americans get this hunger for success back?  So many think they're entitled.  So many think they're all that but they're not.  

I think the entire situation is disappointing.  It's a reality check that if you don't stay hungry, someone will snatch your job from you because you lost the fire in the belly.  

Americans lost the fire in the belly.  A friend of my was a college instructor at the graduate level.  He also commented on the entitlement of the students and the lack of taking advantage of opportunity extended to them.  They didn't want the education.  They wanted the piece of paper.  

How many people have the piece of paper are ill-qualified for the jobs they're applying?  How many drs don't know what the hell they're doing because they use the googler and the AI for everything.

I've said many times that despite us being in the Information Age, I've never seen so many stupid people that are incapable of thinking.  I think that's what the H1b visa does.  It separates the hungry from the entitled and that bothers me.  If American's don't have the fire in the belly the H1b visa allows them to import people with the fire in the belly if they can't find any suitable candidates here.  That sucks.

Healthcare

The current system for healthcare in america is not sustainable.  I got the bill for my walk in urgent care treatment at the dr office.  Before insurance it was nearly eight hundred dollars.  Of that 800 bucks, 20 was for the injection.  The rest was for being seen by the doctor.  With payment and discounts applied from insurance, I ended up owing just under one hundred and fifty dollars.  Shocking.  

How do people without insurance see the doctor?  I don't understand why this is so expensive.  And I don't understand why my insurance is being charged a rack rate for providing care.  This is beyond what the working class can afford.

How does the working class in this country even exist?  Rent, food, energy and transportation costs are all off the Richter scale.  I make a decent living.  My lifestyle has been negatively impacted by the economy.  How do they survive?

Maybe the name of the game is side hustle.  Maybe one job isn't enough anymore.  Two incomes is barely enough.  

I'm sure when I get the bill for my physical from back in December, the actual retail price will be in excess of 2 thousand dollars.  And then somehow, it is free to me due the insurance agreement with my employer.

MAGA

Pardons

Just in - Pardons issued for fauci, the J6 committee members and Mark Milli. Preemptively. WTF? How can you issue pardons to people who have not been charged or convicted of anything?

Pardons aren't issued to innocent people. Joe Biden is as corrupt as they come. He deserves to rot in hell.

Covid. Gain of function. Lockdowns. Masking. That man is a bottom feeding rat and should be destroyed through incineration. 

On one hand

I really don't like that we are nothing more than evolved monkeys? On the other hand are we really made in the likeness of God?

Amazing Regret

Around 2009 there was a touring concert production called Star Wars in Concert. I had the opportunity to go and for some stupid reason made my job more important than attending this special event. I figure it would come again in a couple of years and I could go then. Guess what? It didn't.

My wife and oldest son got to go and they reported that it was pretty neat. The music was performed by a live orchestra with video accommodation. It wasn't a movie, but a series of clips accompanying the music. Outside the performance hall there were props and costumes.

My family really didn't build it up much. I knew I missed out but maybe they had sympathy for my stupid decision and downplayed just how awesome the event was. If I would have known how amazing this event was, I would have been heartbroken.  They probably knew that.  I choose to believe they protected me by not letting me know what an exceptional event this could have been for me. Now, 15 years later, I am heartbroken.

I found out this is one of the biggest regrets in my life. About two weeks ago I saw a souvenir program on eBay from stars wars in concert and ordered it on a whim. Today, it arrived!  It is a 12x15 full color homage to that concert event with plenty of breathtaking artwork and writing commemorating the event.

The seller did an amazing job caring for this piece while entrusted to him and did an exceptional job safely protecting the piece from damage during shipment. It was delivered to my door because it didn't fit in our box. It was in a large cardboard envelope ala FedEx and inside the FedEx envelope it was wrapped in a layer of cardboard. In the layer of cardboard was the program wrapped in a protective plastic envelope. The outermost envelope had a bend in it and I was displeased; documenting with pictures in case the program was damaged.

I carefully unsealed and opened it. Cut the tape holding the cardboard wrapping and slid the plastic protective envelope out. I carefully cut the seal of the plastic and slowly slid the piece out. The first thing I see is Darth Vader's helmet.

As I gently extracted the program from the sleeve, I got goosebumps seeing a perfectly preserved program from 2009.  Examined for bends and creases and there were none!!!   

I couldn’t believe what I was holding. I flipped through it, looking at the pictures and I got teary eyed, overcome with emotion.   I immediately sent an email to the seller thanking him for preserving this item, packaging it well and letting him know of my regret not going to the concert and now being amazed at what I missed out on. 

I continued admiring the artwork and reading bits and pieces of wordsmith contained within. Layer after layer of goosebumps came over me, eyes swelled with tears for in my hands I was holding the holy grail of concert memorabilia I never knew existed and could have attended but didn’t. 

I don’t have many regrets in my life - but this is one of epic proportions.   Hugely disappointed in myself to make my job more important than a once in a lifetime event. Disappointed I didn’t make an effort to get the time off and coward down to the easy way of just going to work with my nose to the grindstone.  What was I thinking?  Why was I such a corporate lackey.  Disgusted. 

It’s a good thing I didn’t know then what I know now about this once in a lifetime - but not my lifetime - event. 

In 2009 I obviously wasn’t  as invested in John Williams music and didn’t have the same relationship to his body of work as I do now.  But still - Star Wars!  

The imperial march is the probably one of, if not the most famous piece of music John Williams wrote and that could be debated.  To the core, I am not a Star Wars fan, I am a John Williams fan. I love Darth Vader’s march because the music and the character encapsulate the dark side of my personality and the evil to which I wish I was capable.  The ruthlessness. No mercy. Sheer destruction and disregard for human life. While this is not who I am it is a component of my psyche.

As a kid I was majorly flawed. I had a big heart and cared deeply for others and the world around me. It was unhealthy.  I hated seeing hurt and suffering in other living things. I didn’t like the emotion I felt when I had so much and others had so little. It made me extremely emotional and sad. I was sensitive as a child.  Poverty bothered me a lot.  What Darth Vader, John Williams and the imperial march did was give me a coping mechanism. A way to not let the evil, disappointment and suffering of the world bother me.   If Darth Vader could kill Ben Kenobi and not be bothered, I could  slay my own feelings with a lightsaber. To be victorious over the emotions I didn’t know how to deal with as an overly sensitive child. John Williams gave me strength I didn’t have.  

I don’t quite know if that’s true. As an adult I can be callous and ruthless towards a lot of things. But one thing makes it better. Envisioning myself storming through a corridor dressed like Darth Vader, with cape intact, hearing the imperial march playing as I rage on. 

I am eternally grateful to John Williams.  Thank you for helping a fragile and cowardly little boy be strong.   

Quote

As inscribed in the Temple of Apollo at Delphi, "Know Thyself."

Humans

 As far as I know humans are the only living things on Earth that has devised a medicinal and medical industry to care for living things on the planet that are ailing or have disease.  Humans actually care for one another on some level and want to see them lead long, productive and healthy lives.  Our advances can cure common ailments and significant diseases that would at one time have been fatal.  There are still diseases which there is no cure where "research" is being done in an effort to prolong life.

Why is that?  Because we're evolved?  Healthcare is an economic driver?  We have the ability to overcome what is destined to destroy us?

I could have been dead multiple times if it wasn't for modern medicine.  I am thankful for that as, from my estimation, I would have died before having a chance to live my life.  

My Mom is starting to have problems with eating again.  Her teeth are still rotten and we are working to put together a plan to help her.  Now she has a yeast infection (thrush) in her mouth.  We went to see a prosthodontist and were to schedule a surgery.  Did not know who would provide post surgery care and could not identify who would maintain hygiene required with dentures and/or implants.  My mom is unable to perform these responsibilities.  Same with my Dad.  I can't do it.  Who can do it?  

You can get nearly everything you'll ever ever want or need if you can pay the price someone is asking.  That's not cool.  Whatever money my parents have has to last the rest of their lives.  I don't have the money to care for them and don't have an environment suitable for them to live.

So, latest plan is we're going to scrap the dentures and implants and proceed with pulling all the rotten teeth and let that heal.  Possibly dentures later.  First priority is getting the rot out of her mouth.  Diet can be managed putting her on a soft mechanical diet. Essentially pay someone to put her food in a blender so she can eat it.  At least her life can be extended and prevent her from starving.

Do any other living things on earth take care of their infirmed or are they left to die?  Humans take care of other living things sick and weak.  Why?   Some would ask why not?

Secret pleasure

Even Flow by Pearl Jam is one of the best songs. If only I still had my corvette. The glory days. Not like Bruce Springsteen. But like driving a loud and aggressive sports car jammin to some seriously good music.  The album version.  Pearl Jam isn't near as good live.

Quote

We are living in a time when people are proud of what they should be ashamed of.

Headache

 Had a migraine headache for three days straight last week that would not let up.  Not a bit.  I had an appointment scheduled with my psychiatrist and told her about it.  She told me to go to either the emergency room or the walk in urgent care.  OK.

I went to the walk in urgent care expecting to be laughed out of the office for being there for a headache.  The doc asked some questions - I don't even remember what the were.  The next thing the doc says is I'm going to have the nurse give you an injection of tramadol.  After that, lay down for 30 minutes and we'll check back on you.  OK.  The nurse came in and gave the short and I laid down.  Still had the headache and the doctor said you will hopefully feel some relief in about an hour.  

Picked up some prescriptions and the headache finally broke.

Dr prescribed some propanol and haven't had a headache since.

About 20 years ago I got migraines all the time and they most subsided when I started taking drugs for bipolar.  Stopped taking bipolar drugs and headache starts back up.

It's been a month and two days without any bipolar drugs besides lithium.  Pleased with the situation minus the headache.  If we can keep the headache under control, I will consider this a break through.

Sentiment

Happy Holloween…Thank you for all do.

Really?

Sell me this

I can't stand sales people.  They've got this script or sales tree with all these branches that they try to lead you down to get to a yes and a sale.  STFU.  If I want your services I will seek you out.  Until then, please leave me alone.  All these phonies start getting excited when you give them a yes and they go down the next branch in their spiel and get another yes.  Then I through up a road block and shut that shit down.  Leave me alone mother fucker and get off my property.   

My Indian neighbor

My Indian neighbor's wife backed into their garage door while trying to exit the garage. Without opening the door. Perhaps this is why Indian people feel the need to advertise their inability to operate a motor car. Maybe I should go buy them stickers for their vehicle that say 'Student driver - please be patient.' It's a gift. From me to you. A gesture of friendship. Not really.

Star Wars

Everyone thinks I'm a Star Wars fan. I'm not. I'm a John Williams fan. Star Wars happened to be the first movie I saw with his music.

I was more of a Trekie. They still had movies coming out in the 1980s and I remember going to the theatre with friends and or family and waiting in line to see the movies.

I don't think anyone does that anymore because you can buy tickets in advance online. You couldn't do that back in the day.

Terrible Man

Joe Biden hates America and he demonstrates that every time he does something.

Recently saw him get ugly with reporters. I think every reporter that has the opportunity to ask him a question should poke the bear. Make an effort to illicit an unfavorable reaction or ugly response from him. Intentionally fuck with him so the entire world can see what as asshole he is and has always been.

Still

The Apple film about Michael J Fox and his Parkinson's situation.  My Dad wanted me to see it about two years ago and I'm too cheap to buy Apple TV just to watch a movie.  But, this weekend apple is gifting everyone access to Apple TV to try and drum up interest in their television product.  Which must not be doing to well if they're offering a preview weekend.  Anyway it was a nice opportunity to finally see the show.

I didn't particularly find the story sharing anything new about Michael j fox.  Instead, it went highlighted the length MJF went to hide the disease and the coping mechanisms used.  Whether it be taking off medication, escaping or going on a bender.  Not a lot of information about the MJF foundation or the research gains his foundation has made possible.

What touched me most were parts when MJF was discussing his father.  Letting MJF go to Hollywood, keeping MJF grounded on visits home and the death of his Dad.  

Interesting to hear of lengths MJF went to conceal his condition and finally making it public.  The clips of TV shows and movies demonstrated the efforts made to soldier on without bringing attention to the challenges he faces but the signs are there.  

Towards the end of the show, MJF is pretty far along with PD and has a case of the shakes, the mask, the movement issues...  The most touching part of the film was when MJF and his son are talking staring out at the beach and MJF is shaking quite a bit and his son takes his hand and holds it until MJF settles down.

   

Chicks

Slang word for female is chick. The reason for that is males are looking for a place to put their cock.

Out on a limb

They say when you put something in writing the chances of whatever is written coming to fruition increase exponentially.  I've been writing for a while and never really document ideas or goals for the future.  I'm going out on a limb. 

Leave my current employer with a package

Spend three years learning the automotive repair business/industry

Year 4 - Open and grown my own automotive repair business

Year 14 - Sell shop and fund retirement