Band Concert

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The local community band had a concert today.  It's the first one I've been to with their new conductor.  The band sounded fantastic.  They had a new energy and a forward momentum about their play that is new.  While I was there I got to see some of my friends from when I was a member.  It was so great to see them and compliment their playing and performance.  One question I got was are you gonna start playing again?  It's been a while since I've seriously played and if I want to play again I gotta get my chops back in shape.  I sold my instrument last year.  I didn't think I'd play again as I've a wart on my lower lip that has been cut out many times by a dermatologist and won't stay gone.  When it flares up, it's painful and takes the fun out of playing my horn.  I'm also leery of participating due to the always on call aspect to my role.  Much to consider.

Since I've been back home I've lost my swagger.  There is so much scrutiny, questioning and justification for so many aspects of my job.  Many responsibilities to juggle.  Many problems uncovered that need to be resolved.  It's not fun.  It's a lot of work.  They say the squeaky wheel gets the grease.  In this role the standing nail gets hammered.   I think I need someone with the skill set I brought to my previous role on my team.  Someone who takes charge, kicks ass and takes names.  Someone who runs with directives and is part of the solution without having to be told what to do.  Getting my immediate team to take action is like pulling teeth.  WTH?


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